Saturday, February 6, 2010

Epigraph

I miss you...so much....
come back. stop this pain. i cant do this without you anymore. i need you. please... i look into your eyes everyday, i see the past and it breaks me inside. it cant go on like this. no more. something has to break. im breaking. we're broken.
i thought you would never look at me this way.
and now.

nothing.

17 and i feel like life is over. its not you. this seems unfair. its everything. worried now? the few that care, care for themselves. people only care if you dont. i dont care about life. hugs. i dont care about you. tears. i cant go on. kisses. 16 was happiness. 17 and im empty. this is attention seeking. this is me. and how i live.
i hope it kills you inside.
this is not a death note. but sometimes i wonder why. why not. you care now. but what about then. when i swallowed those 30 pills.
dizzy.
not long now. shadow is inside me already. im not going numb. i was numb when you left me. i died when you all forgot. theres no spirit left. no cares or fears. now you care?
the worst part is that you wouldnt care otherwise. you say no.
you say you cant.
why is it that you only care when you think it is you that it will hurt?
you hurt me.
every single day.
and i cant take it.
and i hope it kills you inside.
i hoped it would matter.
it never did.
i never did.
like a flower on a breeze. i floated. you were the wind in my sail. my light to make me grow. you made me soar.
you made me fall.
the fear that consumed me.
does it worry you?
are you afraid for me? are you thinking that it will hurt you?
or me?
when you look back on your life, you want to see happiness.
you broke my happiness.
you destroyed me. you made me hate.
you killed me.

i hope it kills you

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